4 posts tagged “sickness”

Day 20: I'm determined...

Dec 20, 2008
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...to finish this NaBloPoMo thing, one way or another. It's Day 20, which means just 11 more days. Today, all I have to say is this:

I HATE GETTING SICK AROUND THE HOLIDAYS!

Bah.

Humbug.

Day 18: "Semi"-near-death experience.

Dec 18, 2008
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Bwaaahhhh I'm so cold I can't think straight. Or maybe that's all the mucus in my head making me so slow today. Well, the good news is, I got out of my house early enough to make it to work HALF AN HOUR early, so I can leave at 4:45! Woot. Plus, the population here at work is starting to dwindle down to a ghost town, cuz everyone ELSE gets to go on vacation this time of year. I'm pretty much convinced that next week I'll be the only person here. And I'm okay with that. :-)

Feeling sick and run down makes me cranky. And so does PMS... And right now I think I'm two for two. Oh, and this morning started off just swimmingly, too, as I was almost crushed to death by a massive semi-truck that swerved far into my lane while I was already in the leftmost lane and right next to the center divider and couldn't really go anywhere. I slammed my breaks and cussed out loud, but didn't manage to honk at him like I would've done if I wasn't freaking out so much. Anyway, he swerved back in the other direction and then switched to the right another lane, and I sped past him as fast as I could so I wouldn't be stuck behind him if he decided to doze off again. It was scary. And not fun. And exactly the reason why I HATE when semis drive in the second lane going around a sharp turn when the center divider is barely a foot from the start of the leftmost lane. I feel like I get stuck between a semi and the divider EVERY time I go around that one specific curve in the road, and it always freaks me out, but today was the first time I really felt like I was nanoseconds from death. Gah.

In other news, I was greeted at my desk this morning by a couple of Christmas cards from co-workers, and a giant Hershey's kiss! From the facilities guy, of all people. Awkward? lol... Thanks, Eric the Facilities Guy!

Well...I better get back to work. I mean, what with half my department being gone on vacation, it could get really busy in here and 37 people might need to travel. Ha...oh boy, it's gonna be a looooong day.

Day 17: Rain + Cold + Crazy busy bunch of days = Sick.

Dec 17, 2008
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Bah, humbug. I should've seen it coming, but alas, I woke up this morning surprised by how totally blah I felt. Granted, I didn't get enough sleep last night, but I definitely feel like I'm getting sick. My throat is dry and scratchy, my head's all cloudy, and I just can't focus on anything. I think it's time for some Zycam and resting up this week, because this weekend is gonna be just as busy as last, and then it's Christmas and New Year's! And then it'll be 2009 -- eek!

Anyway, thanks to all this rain, I feel gloomy, too. Like I just would love to curl up in bed all day watching Gilmore Girls and eating cookie dough. Or snuggle up on the couch with Joe, sipping hot chocolate and playing Boom Blox on the Wii. Instead, I have to work another FOUR DAYS after today, before I get my vacation time. And then it's right back to work on January 2nd. So yeah...gloomy and kinda missing my "break" this time of year back in the days of final exams and Donut Man runs. I remember my freshman year, our winter break was actually FOUR WEEKS LONG! Oh how I would've cherished those weeks back then, had I known how lucky I was to have them.

In other news, I have GOT to regain control of my life right now. Mostly the disaster zone that is my bedroom. So tonight I'm going home after work, cleaning up and wrapping as many presents as I can before I head back down to Joe's to hang with our friends Jeff and Leah. It's kind of frustrating that my room gets so messy so quickly, but I really think it's because I don't spend enough time at home to keep after it. Instead I'm always rushing in and out, packing for this day trip or that weekend trip, throwing crap all over the place to find OTHER crap, and never having time to pause and think, "Gee, if I had ten more minutes to do this, I could put stuff away while I'm figuring out what I actually need." Alas...I guess I just need to learn to be more disciplined in spite of my busyness. Cuz let's face it...my life isn't gonna get any LESS busy anytime soon. I mean, after the next two weekends, Joe and I won't be in Santa Barbara on ANY Sundays for three months. And chances are, more often than not, we won't be here much the rest of those weekends, either. And here I am about to start considering maybe possibly thinking about looking into going back to school, too. Maybe. I must be crazy.

Last but not least...a haiku about something I know ALL of you reading this were just dying to know about me today:

These shoes I have on
Make my feet smell awful gross
I might throw them out

Sick = Sad.

Jul 23, 2008
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I absolutely hate being sick. I hate feeling helpless, and I hate just sitting around waiting to get better. But right now what I'm hating the most is being sick and alone in my empty apartment. :( It's not so much that I'm lonely...it's more about having no one to distract me from my own thoughts. And right now, knowing one roommate has already moved out and the other may as well have, some of my thoughts are about them, and about what's going to happen when I move in less than two weeks. I'm sad because I'm such a realist. I don't have any illusions about being able to maintain the same close friendships with people once we're separated by a significant distance. I mean, I know we will still be friends. It's just that I'm sad because I know how hard it is to keep up with people's everyday lives even when they live in the same apartment, so moving two hours away is going to make that even more difficult. Doesn't help that I seem to be hanging onto one friendship by a really small thread and I have no idea how it happened or how to fix it. It especially sucks because the only reason I can think of for why it happened is the best thing that's ever happened to me. And the fact that I'm losing touch with this person in particular, in THIS situation of all the crazy things that have happened over the last year, really sucks. I mean, she SHOULD have told me to screw off multiple times when I messed up, when I wasn't there for her, or when I didn't listen to her extremely wise and loving advice and instead went and did a bunch of really stupid crap. But she stuck with me, promised she'd never stop being my friend because she loves me and wants to be here for me all the time, no matter what. Then, somehow, one weird thing happened and we never figured it out right away and then life just...kept happening. Only it wasn't life together with each other anymore, and we lost touch on all the important things going on and instead were just speaking formalities. Bah. I hate that this has happened, and I hate that I don't even know if that's all it is or if there's more to it. If I somehow screwed up in yet another way, or if I'm just reading this all wrong and we're both just busy but still, at the very core of our friendship, fine. Just busy. I don't know. But I hate it. I hate that I don't know why she didn't respond to any of my texts last night when I was going to the ER -- whether it was because she didn't have her phone with her, or she just had more important things going on, or she seriously hates me. I hate that I felt angry at her and yet, because I was in such physical pain, literally could not try to talk to her about it. Then this morning we cohabited in the kitchen in total silence, she didn't say anything about my being in the hospital, and pretty much didn't even say goodbye when she walked out the door. Why is it that when I'm finally figuring out how to communicate well with one person, I seem to monumentally FAIL at communicating with at least two or three other people? Am I really so incapable of maintaining more than one healthy relationship at a time? Maybe we're both distancing ourselves from each other because we know we're kind of going our separate ways pretty soon. Like, maybe it's not totally intentional, but we still both know it's happening and just can't seem to face it. Gah. I probably shouldn't even be writing this stuff right now. But this is the first time in months that I've felt so completely and totally alone, and when no one seems to be around or available, all I can do to keep myself from crying or just feeling like a big loser is write it out. So...there it is. In spite of my excitement for all the new things happening in my life, things I know are good, I'm really sad about some of the inevitable changes that will occur...especially because of all the disconnection that has already been in progress recently.

And...yeah, fever of 100 and a really, really sore neck and a headache...not fun either. Sick. Sad. Alone. Three strikes. I'm out.