25 posts tagged “joe”

So, apparently I was not as addicted to blogging as I thought. Actually, I have been wanting (aching, even) to sit down and write for the last week and a half, but time keeps escaping me. But tonight I decided I really need to get something written down, so that I can make room in my brain for all the new stuff that inevitably piles up as days go by.

To start, let me say, in case you were wondering or worried, that life is good. Really, truly good. I'm beyond blessed, and I keep on being reminded of that in many ways and through many people. So far this year, I feel like I am beginning a journey of renewal: renewed joy, renewed faith, renewed perspective, and renewed trust...among other things. I've decided to seriously pursue an attitude of peace and positivity, and therefore have begun to reinstate my "life verse" if you will, which is Philippians 2:14 -- "Do everything without complaining or arguing." Really, the whole passage surrounding that verse is great. But a few years back, I was convicted by this verse, and I decided to try to live that out daily, and I managed to make a pretty significant change in my spiritual walk, my relationships and just my general outlook on life. I can't really pinpoint a specific moment when I somehow lost that focus and that desire to be a peacemaker and to quit complaining, but over the last several months I have most certainly noticed myself complaining a LOT more, and being thankful a lot less. So, yes. I'm going to strive toward being a non-complainer again. This doesn't mean I'll stop having a preference or an opinion, just that the way I approach things will (Lord willing) morph into something more productive and pleasant. Joy and perspective kind of go with this topic, and there are other ways I hope to seek renewal in those areas, but trust is the one I'm really feeling a strong pull toward enhancing this year. It's not that I don't trust people...in fact, I think my default with most people I interact with in any sort of personal way is to be very trusting of them. It's when I get really close, or really involved or invested, that trust becomes a little bit scarier. I'm thinking particularly about deepening my sense of trust with Joe, and also reestablishing my trust in God as Provider, Protector, and the one who wants to see me prosper. With Joe: again, it's not a matter of feeling like I can't or don't trust him...I just sense that these next months are going to require a LOT of deliberate, conscious TRUSTING of him as we embark on new areas in our lives and our relationship that are going to bring up a lot of tough stuff. And with God, well, that's kind of self-explanatory, in a way. But I guess I should confess that I've really backpedaled in my relationship with him, particularly in the area of trust. It's almost embarrassing to admit, because he has proven himself as such a loving, providing and protective Father, time and time again, and here I am consistently finding myself thinking, "How am I going to pay off all my debt and loans? What if I'll never figure out my true purpose in life? What if... Why can't I... When will I...?" and all sorts of doubting questions like that. So, in these first 12 days of 2009, I have already begun to feel unmistakably drawn back toward God, and I long to know him again, and to trust him with every aspect of my life.

In other news, Joe and I have gone to the first two of twelve pre-marrieds classes (which are more pre-engagement classes for us, since we're not engaged yet), and it's going well. I am already feeling more confident in our relationship and our ability to overcome some specific conflicts and issues, and at the same time, I am anxious (in both the good and less good sense of the word) about the coming weeks. It's a LOT of new ground we're covering, things we haven't yet addressed or thought of, and things we've even possibly avoided a little which are now going to be impossible to avoid talking about. And that is SO good. I want to write so much more about it, but not in this public forum. So, sorry if this tidbit is not enough for you...but it's all you're getting for the time being. :-)

Anyway, it's been awhile since I've sat with my laptop and typed at length, and I'm remembering how painful it is on my wrists. What a granny! So, I'd better wrap it up and get to sleep. Sorry for being MIA for nearly two weeks, Mom! hehe... I'll try to post more often...

*Sigh* I wish I could say I'm feeling a little bummed that this month of daily blogging is coming to a close with this final post...

But I'm actually incredibly relieved. It was quite difficult. And yes, I feel successful, and I feel mildly enlightened, and inspired to strive toward this daily habit more long-term. But I gotta admit it wasn't as mind-blowing or epiphanic as I had hoped or expected it would be. 'Twas fun, nevertheless. And yes, epiphanic is totally a word! I was really excited to discover that...but I would've used it even if it wasn't.

So here I am, at the tail end of this month-long journaling journey. And, appropriately, it's also the last day of 2008. It was a great year, overall. And I'm glad I will have a good chunk more documentation of this year (though the majority of it has been toward the end, but I did write more regularly this year than in years past). And I'm really, really glad that I've gotten to spend the second half of this year with Joe, and that we are embarking on the new year together and happy as can be. Yes, I'm smitten. And I'm really looking forward to what 2009 will bring. All the surprises, memories to be made, lessons to learn, trials, time shared with friends and loved ones, successes and failures...all of it. It's going to be a good year. And I have a sneaking suspicion that 2010 will start off EVEN BETTER. *sneaky grin* Oh yeah...life is good.

Anyway, in the more immediate future...I just talked to Ashton, who's home from Texas for a few weeks, and found out she was gonna surprise me tonight and show up with her boyfriend Robert and take Joe and me out to Montana's! But Robert had to go and get all sick, so they're taking it easy in the desert, which I totally understand. Major bummer, though, since I only got to see her for one night during this WHOLE time she's been home! Buuuuut that's life, and we'll make it. That's the true test of best-friend-dom, right? Or something. :-P

In the slightly later immediate future, I get to hang out with Megan this weekend! Yessssss...you don't even know how excited I am. I think we'll go out Friday night, dance a little, laugh a lot, and then Saturday we are going to do what girls do best (when they don't have money to blow on shopping or spa days): totally veg out! Of course, we have to get pedicures at some point that day, but I'm all over the idea of just lounging around my house (which she hasn't seen yet!) and watching chick flicks (which I'm sorely in need of doing, since Joe won't watch them with me...lol), and maybe make some cookies or just eat lots of Ben & Jerry's and talk about girly stuff like boys and dresses and rings and...er...I mean...what? Boys. Just boys. Hehe. So that should be fun. I'll let you know how it goes...if I feel like it, since I'm not gonna be obligated to post every single day anymore! Wooooooot!

Aiight...I'm done. Happy New Year, everyone, and thanks for joining me on this 31-day adventure. Stick around, cuz I'm sure there will be plenty more musings to come, only possibly more sporadic and probably more ridiculous, weird, funny, or just plain silly.

Over the last week or so, I think both Joe and I have come to recognize a sort of trend that occurs when I get together with my family: I get weird. No, seriously...I just turn into a big goofball (when it's a relaxed, fun environment, that is...not so much when it's strained or tense, of course). Spending Christmas Eve with my family, Joe's patience with my silly, totally un-sophisticated side was definitely tested. Fortunately, he's pretty weird too, and I think he might've previously thought that he was a LOT weirder than me...until this last week in seeing me interact with family. I guess this particular week has been a real treat for me, getting a nice chunk of days off of work and being all proper and cool, and just being able to loosen up and use up some energy and weirdness I had apparently been hanging onto for awhile. I mean, nothing extreme really...I was just a bit kookier around my family that day. And then again, tonight, we got to hang out with my cousin Sarah and her husband, and the goof in me came out all over again. Sarah and I have always been that way. We have our ongoing, totally ridiculous anecdotes and inside jokes that don't make much sense or just don't seem that funny to anyone else, but we still crack up at the thought of them. Do you have any friends or family like that? I just love it. I love being around people who make it easy to be "me" around them, whether "me" in that moment is a goofball, a hopeless romantic, a person with a specific passion or hobby, or whatever. I mean, I'm generally pretty comfortable with myself, and have in recent years learned (slowly but surely) that I can be confident in who I am, in most any situation, and not try to alter or change myself into something not quite genuinely "me." But as I'm becoming a part of a new family with much different personalities, tastes, upbringings, etc., I do find myself, on occasion, feeling a little out of place, or unlearned, or simply nervous and a tad uncomfortable in a new and less familiar environment. Don't get me wrong, I am absolutely loving spending time with Joe's family, getting to know them, and I do feel very welcomed and at home around them. But there is also something to be said about spending time around my own family, my blood, that is soothing...freeing...invigorating. I am just all-around blessed with great people in my life, both related and maybe-someday-soon-to-be related. :-) I think the greatest discovery I've made recently is that with Joe, I feel very nearly just as comfortable and at ease as I do with my flesh-and-blood family. I can be that weird, goofy girl that my family knows so well, around Joe, and he still loves me. He gets me. It's awesome. And somewhat terrifying. Terrifying, because I know that being completely comfortable with people, to the extent that I am with my family, means I am also capable of being quite insensitive and thoughtless toward them as well. It's a sad confession, but an honest one. I can go from being at my very best to my absolute worst, in a matter of an hour or even a minute when I'm around my loved ones. I guess it's because "home" is the place where you get to unwind, to destress from the busy, hustle-and-bustle, people-pleasing daily life that goes on outside, and it's also where you're able to (if you're lucky) be 100% yourself -- for better or for worse -- because you know you will always be loved and accepted by these people. So, I have never really feared losing my family's love if I should ever be in a snappy mood some day, or make a rude comment in passing, or anything like that. They know me, and they understand my many moods...but it's all too easy to take that unconditional love for granted and just get downright  mean sometimes. I can't tell you how awful I still feel when I think back on times when I told my mom that I hated her, or yelled at my little sister or brother just because I was upset about something that had nothing to do with them at all. Anyway, all this to say, I worry from time to time that my being so comfortable with Joe will lead to one of these insensitive comments, or displaced anger, or just a foul mood turning into an unnecessary fight. So yes...a little terrifying. But hey, how great is God's timing? We're about to start a class all about learning to deal with this kind of stuff together, and I'm really looking forward to it. I'm scared as heck, just because of my semi-former (meaning, I'm still working on it) tendency to run at the first sign of significant conflict or the first roadblock that seems, at first glance, insurmountable. And I honestly don't doubt that we will encounter at least one issue like this during these classes, because I think that's kind of the whole point. They want to open up discussion about things that we might never have thought about without the guidance of older married couples who have been through it all, and they want to help us address it now, so that we can potentially start a marriage together with a much stronger foundation and a better understanding of each other. Yay! And also...eek! If you feel like it, pray for us these next 12 weeks! (Thanks!) It's going to be interesting. And wonderful. And painful, stressful, emotional, exciting, exhausting...you get the idea. It'll be intense.

Ahhhhh...that felt good. And there you have it. A REAL stinkin' update of sorts. And it's 30 down, ONE TO GO for this December post-a-day challenge. I knew I could do it. (Not really...I actually honestly thought I'd fail within the first two weeks. So, go me!)

So, one of Joe's Christmas presents to me was the board game Ticket to Ride (Europe edition), which I absolutely loooooooove. Josh and Serena stopped by on their way up north for their vacation, and the four of us broke it in a little (Joe won). Then tonight, when Joe and I got BACK to his parents' (after a brief time back in SB to sing in church today), we played Ticket to Ride again with Joe's parents! And Joe's dad totally swindled us...he was all doped up on pain meds and said he'd probably duck out of the game before we even finished, so he and Joe's mom teamed up...and kicked our butts! We'll call it beginners' luck this time...but revenge is mine!

Anyway, it's been a good day. It was really fun to sing in the worship team at church, and I felt like we really "gelled" well together. Kind of a bummer, since we're not gonna be able to do it again for several months (see prior entry about our every-weekend-for-three-months plans starting next weekend). But, that aside, I am really looking forward to these next 12 weeks. I'll admit I'm a little nervous about it...starting to really delve deep into all the potential issues that arise when you decide to marry someone. It's going to be pretty heavy stuff, I reckon, and, as Joe's mom's friend B put it, "[We]'ll never fight so much." That is to say, these pre-married sessions are going to require a lot of openness, honesty, and willingness to get all our dirt dug up and dealt with. The great news is that, Lord willing, we can dig up and deal with all that crap before we say "I do" and then start off our marriage a lot more healthy and happy than we would be if we went into it blindly or naively. Woot!

There. That's a bit better (read: more substantial) of an update than the last few...granted, still a little short. But gimme a break, it's supposed to be my vacation!

Oh, I'm sooooo close! I'm gonna make it. Three more days of NaBloPoMo!!!

Today has been so great. I've done absolutely nothing productive, unless you consider doing about 14 logic puzzles productive...hehe. Anyway, Christmas was really great this year. I got to spend it with both my family and Joe's (on separate days), and it was chock full of fun times, great food and fellowship, laughter, good music, and of course the great gift exchange extravaganza. My favorite part of present-time is getting to see people open the gifts I got for them, because I love to be able to surprise people, or just make them smile, give them something fun to play with or wear or whatever. I made my mom a bead necklace, got my dad and little brother little metal puzzle things, and other various stuff for each person in my family and Joe's. It seemed like everyone was happy with what I gave them, and I just love that feeling. I'm a giver. :-) Of course, I also loved the excitement and anticipation of opening my own presents, and let me tell you I feel like I hit the jackpot this year! Maybe it's just that I was getting presents from two whole families, but not even considering the quantity of things I got, I was just thrilled with the thoughtfulness that was apparent in every gift I opened. To name a few, I got a beautiful hand-made ornament from Serena and Josh, a crock pot and a waffle maker from my parents, a gorgeous black coat from John and Kelly, REAL diamond earrings from Joe (wow!! SO great!!), a stunning heart-shaped necklace from Joe's parents, and a bunch of other stuff, ranging from little toys and trinkets to books to clothes and accessories...just...wow. I know Christmas isn't all about presents, and I am sure I would've had just as much fun and enjoyment with Joe's and my families without any of the material "stuff" I got. Nevertheless, each of the things I received this year will, I feel, serve as a reminder of the great time I was able to share with my loved ones during the Christmas 2008 festivities. Yay! So, anyway, all that said...Christmas was also EXHAUSTING! We did so much driving...I think that was the most draining thing. And I suppose being around people pretty much 24/7 for several days has taken its toll on me as well, considering today I could've been perfectly content just sitting in my room reading or doing logic puzzles allllllll day. Anyway...dinner time! Must sign off.

'Twas the night before Christmas... How are you spending this Christmas Eve? Do you have any Christmas Eve traditions you're excited about?

Joe and I are in the desert with my family today, and we're going to be doing the following (not necessarily in this order): presents, dinner, Christmas Eve service at Southwest, and going to see Candy Cane Lane and all the wonderful Christmas lights! I might take a nap, too. Anyway, our family's traditions are pretty low-key...basically, we open all of our gifts except the big "Santa" gift which we open on Christmas morning. Our extended family has this duppe gratta tradition, which is this soup-type dish that we all gather around (it's usually in a HUGE pot) and dip bread in together. It's mostly a communal, fellowship thing, but also a tasty tradition. But our immediate family doesn't always do that when we're not with the whole group... Let's see, I can't think of any other defined traditions... But anyway, I'm excited about today. It's Joe's and my first Christmas together (not to mention my first Christmas EVER having a boyfriend!), and I haven't been home to the desert in awhile, so it's nice to be here. Tomorrow morning, after we open our big gifts and pig out on all the candy in our stockings, we'll head up to LA to do Christmas Day with Joe's family, which I'm also very excited about!

Sorry this is kind of a weak post...but come on, it's Christmas! I've got better things to do than sit around on my computer all day...(says the girl who's about to play the dot game on facebook for the next 27 hours.)

Merry Christmas, Wilbur!

So, I only worked four days this week, because I went to Disneyland. And yet, it has felt like THE longest week EVER. Probably because Monday I was running around like a crazy person getting the potluck together, and Tuesday, while not at work, I used up a LOT of energy and then had to come back to work for THREE MORE DAYS. Yeah. I think that's it. So anyway, I'm glad it's Friday. Dear sweet Lord Almighty, THANKS for letting it be Friday at last! Phew.

Now it's time for some more busyness, in the form of fondue and the Muppet Christmas Carol tonight, then worship team practice tomorrow, church and singing in worship team on Sunday, and TWO MORE DAYS of work before some much needed time off...during which I'm sure I won't actually be very restful but will, in fact, do tons of fun and exciting and non-relaxing things. Like FINALLY see Ashton! Yessss.

Anyway, I'm excited about singing on the worship team this weekend. It feels like it's been a really long time since I got to do that, and it was probably at least six months ago, back at APC. I've definitely missed being able to help lead people into worship, and just having the opportunity to practice my musical gifts with other great musicians. Should be a good time...and Joe's playing bass, too! Woot.

Hmm...Megan wanted me to post something about Christmas lights, but first, I must recognize a very special event that I neglected to mention yesterday:

Artichokes: Today we had our department meeting and potluck at work, and it went really well! It was the first big(ish) event I've ever had to organize kind of on my own. I was a little nervous that, like, NO ONE would sign up to bring anything, or no one would show up at all, or a million other ridiculous scenarios that flooded my brain all last week. But we had like 3/4 of our whole department show up (which is a really good turnout), and sooooo much freaking food, we could've invited a whole other department to join us. It was a very enjoyable time, and my crockpot artichoke dip turned out really good! I hadn't done it in the crockpot yet...well, for that matter, I hadn't EVER made ANYTHING in the crockpot. But it's pretty foolproof if you ask me, which is my kinda cooking! :-) I'm thinking of playing around with the recipe to see how I can improve it...maybe I'll do it for my family at Christmas! Anyway, I'm glad the potluck went well, and now we've got tons of leftovers I have to try to get rid of by the end of the day. Anyone for some crawfish etoufee?

Amore: Today is a good day, not only because of the potluck, but also (and especially) because it's my 6-month-iversary of dating Joe! (Yes, we "officially" became boyfriend and girlfriend on Father's Day...just a month after meeting each other on Mother's Day.) I must admit I'm partially giddy just because of the sheer accomplishment of making it to six months, since all of my past relationships have been shorter. But mostly I'm deliriously giddy because I've been able to spend the last HALF A YEAR dating, getting to know, and falling more and more in love with an absolutely incredible guy. Oh, and he loves me too. That's a bonus...hehe. So anyway, I've been smiling all day, and I'm so looking forward to the next six months...six years...six decades with Joe. I make no guarantees about how I'll feel after six decades, though. *wink* So I think tonight we'll head down to LA (we're staying with his parents tonight -- see "Anticipation" for reason) and try to get there early enough to treat ourselves to a nice dinner at Olive Garden, since we both have gift cards to use. (Thanks to Mom and American Express for those!)

Anticipation: The reason we're going down to LA tonight is because TOMORROW...we're going to Disneyland! I'm super excited, even though it's probably going to rain, because not ONLY will I get to go to D-land and have fun with Joe and his family, but I ALSO get to see my long lost bestest friend Ashton! She's in California for a few weeks and we weren't gonna see each other until next week when I'm in the desert, but we found out we're both going to be at Disneyland tomorrow, so that was an exciting surprise. I'm definitely looking forward to that, since I haven't seen her since like...July! And what better place to meet up than Disneyland, right? Saaaah-weeeeet! ("What does MINE say??")

That's all for now.

...But I just have to have a sappy moment real quick.

I am so ridiculously, helplessly, totally in love with Joe. He's great. And this weekend was absolutely splendid, rain and all.

Tonight's post is short because I've got to settle back in, upload pics to Facebook, and prepare my dip for tomorrow's potluck at work! Yay!