NaBloPoMo Day 16: Drained.

The last week has been hectic in more ways than one. And writing about a lot of it every day has taken a toll on me that I didn't expect. I'm really exhausted. And the strange thing is, I kinda feel like I'm more at odds with myself. My thoughts. My emotions. I keep writing about it, and if there's anything to be said in history, I should be feeling a smidge more relief...self-awareness...inner...uhm...chi? Or something. I mean, I'm not saying I'm a nervous wreck or anything. But speaking of nervousness...I think that this afternoon I had a moderate anxiety attack. At about 4:15, almost instantaneously, I felt this wave of shakiness flood through me. My hands became clammy, my heart started racing, my face felt flush, and then I thought, Anaphylactic shock! I'm about to die! Aaahhh!!!

Okay, to explain that little freakout of an inner monologue, I got allergy tested today. And while I'm pretty sure a skin test wouldn't result in anaphylaxis, given the mildness of the reactions I had to the stuff I was tested for, it was seriously the first thought I had. Because I am a freak. And I don't think rationally when my body does irrational things. So sue me.

Anyway, I don't really know where I was going with all that deep stuff at the beginning. Basically I'm just a little disappointed in the lack of togetherness as a result of my daily explosions of musings. And if that sentence didn't have enough prepositions for you...well...take comfort in the fact that I had to look up the word preposition to make sure it was the word I was looking for.

I need to go back to school.

Ha. Or just find my old books and re-teach myself.

ANYWAY. I'm officially not allergic to shellfish or seafood, according to the skin test. Which means, after 23 years of avoiding shrimp and all things shelled (well, not ALL things...but you know) on the basis that I might die because my dad is deathly allergic to it (but mostly because it looks and smells icky and I just never really cared to try it), I now no longer have an excuse. And thus...on or before New Year's, when Joe's parents make their famous blackened pepper shrimp, I think I'm gonna have to try it. Ack.

Aaaaand that's all I have in me for tonight. Like I said...

Drained.